I haven't been blogging much this summer. I haven't really wanted to since I think, generally speaking, blogging should be an encouraging thing.
I confess, I've been trying to battle through some deeply entrenched...well, "crap" is probably the most honest word. I've been feeling a lot of frustration and restlessness with life and am not sure what to do with everything I've been feeling. Part of me wants to discard everything I've built over the last 19, such as it is, and go somewhere fresh and new. Part of me wants to hunker down and ride the restlessness out until it fades and everything goes back to normal.
I've been here before. I've been restless and frustrated with life before. I rode it out, which is why I've been at the same organization for 19 years. I have to be practical, after all, since I'm the only one providing for me. Of course, since I am only providing for me I could up and go elsewhere if I so chose.
I'm not sure where I want to go, though there is one place which has my curiosity roused. I'm even less sure what I want to do, though I know I want it to matter.
Today, two icons of my youth died - Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson touched generations with his music and dancing, setting industry standards in the process. I remember wanting to be just like Farrah Fawcett when I was a girl - beautiful, free and beloved. Millions of people are in mourning at their loss.
Death tends to put some things in perspective.
Maybe I will follow my curiosity further, just to see what else is out there...